Journey to Ikea
mass looming in the distance. As we neared the home stretch, we passed a Home
Depot and Jordan’s Furniture, neither of which must have been pleased by the
arrival of their new low cost, imported neighbor.
We decided to ditch the car a little further from the store than
necessary–a wise decision that assisted in a speedy escape. We entered the monstrous building via the parking garage and were
whisked to the next floor on an escalator. As we reached the top we were
pushed into a crowded foyer of couples and families with small children. The
smell of warm cinnamon buns filled the air eliciting audible stomach growls from
passers-by. A second escalator beckoned, promising a speedy delivery to the
showroom and a $5.99 herbed salmon dinner.
“Ow, how often do you wish you had one of these,” she cooed. Afraid of getting
lost, I grabbed a combo map/blank shopping list. There were even mini-golf
score pencils to jot down your wants and needs. I quickly realized I grabbed
the wrong map when it said I was being escalated to the “segunda pisa”. Silly,
me, I thought I was shopping in an Swedish store in America.
As soon as the escalator stopped, we were swept into a current that
pushed us through the various display rooms–I felt like a human herring forging
my way up river. Not liking crowds too much, I took my only solace in Olivia
Newton-John piped in over the sound system, inquirying if I’ve “never been
mellow.” Mellow in this place?”
“Cape Cod Cabin Fever, Part II: Journey to Ikea”
Cape Cod Today
[Thanks Jen/OH IKEA]